Saturday, August 11, 2012
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Final Project
The Emotions Hidden Underneath
This is who I am underneath...
I was ashamed to be who I was....
Too ashamed to say it out loud...
The darkness engulfed me...
Incasing me in lonelyness and dispare...
Sadness over whelmed and took root in my heart...
I felt there was no way out...
There was no light at the end of the tunnel...
Confusion and indecision faced me every waking moment...
Two paths to follow...
Damned either way...
Longing to be normal...
Longing for the life I could never have...
Ashamed and guilt ridden...
Ashamed for my desires..
My wants....
My dreams...
Angry with God...
Angry with my self...
Angry with the world...
Why God?...
Why do I have to be this way?....
I don't like being this way.....
Is this ALL I am?
Is this WHO I really am?
Is this WHO I really am?
"I can't tell you this out loud because it hurts to much. What I am about to tell you I have never told a living soul. I think I am gay or bisexual. I can't say that out loud because saying out loud makes it more real. I don't know if it was right/Okay to tell you. You said that I need to find the real me and this is what I am or think to be. This is the biggest reason why I feel like I am NOT acceptable. I am DISGUSTED with my self. I don't want to be this way. I don't want to be the true me. I can't do anything about how I feel and I HATE that. I don't want to be gay or bisexual. I want to be NORMAL. I am just so confused... It's been eating at me for years and years. These past months it's been eating at me more and more. I NEED to get past this to move forward in my life."
My Journal entry 2 years ago to my Therapist
This project is about my struggles that I have had these past two years with coming to terms with my homosexuality. These raw emotions portrayed in these pictures, were hardly seen by anyone. I put on a mask and let NO ONE see what is really going on underneath.
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